An Italian grandmother  is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to  visit with his wife.

You comma to de front door of  the apartmenta.
I am inna apartmenta 301 There issa  bigga panel at the front  door.
With you elbow pusha button 301. I willa Buzza you in.
Come  inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow pusha 3.
When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hita my doorbell.

Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why  am I hitting  all these buttons
with my elbow?

What . . . . . You coming empty  handed?

The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about  whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look atm New Orleans It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division..

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, child), you each get $516,528.

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.