Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic
explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their
noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to
impress the girls.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Sweetcorn fans. Save money on loo paper by simply pouring the stuff
straight down the pan.

Weedy fellas. Develop a right forearm like Arnold Schwarzeneggar by
buying one of those Cindy Crawford workout videos.

Drivers. Pressing the headlight switch for a second time dips the
buggers.

Regards